Adventures in sysadmin
Dec. 3rd, 2004 12:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
djm4_ljWhat just happened to the Sibelius web server (with a certain amount of dramatic licence):
Me: OK, server, I want you to upgrade this small package (OpenSSL) to the latest version.
Server: Sure thing, boss! I'm just reinstalling the entire Perl system now.
Me: Hang on a moment. Things tend to break when I reinstall Perl.
Every Perl module on the system: Where the fuck has Perl gone?
Me: Calm down. I've just re-installed it over there.
Every Perl module on the system except DBI: No! We're sulking, and we don't want to look over there.
DBI: Oh yes, there it is. Thanks! Where are all the other modules, though?
Every Perl module on the system except DBI: And now DBI's disappeared, too. Waaaagh!
Me: No. Look. It's quite simple. Perl is here, and DBI is here. DBI, all the other modules are over there.
Every Perl module on the system except DBI: You can't fool me. That might look a bit like DBI at first sight, but it's not the real DBI. That's some sort of heretic DBI who believes in the false Perl. We want our DBI back, and we're not talking to that splitter.
DBI: Bah! I'm not talking to those heretics over there; it's their Perl that's false, not mine.
Took a little while to sort that one out.
Me: OK, server, I want you to upgrade this small package (OpenSSL) to the latest version.
Server: Sure thing, boss! I'm just reinstalling the entire Perl system now.
Me: Hang on a moment. Things tend to break when I reinstall Perl.
Every Perl module on the system: Where the fuck has Perl gone?
Me: Calm down. I've just re-installed it over there.
Every Perl module on the system except DBI: No! We're sulking, and we don't want to look over there.
DBI: Oh yes, there it is. Thanks! Where are all the other modules, though?
Every Perl module on the system except DBI: And now DBI's disappeared, too. Waaaagh!
Me: No. Look. It's quite simple. Perl is here, and DBI is here. DBI, all the other modules are over there.
Every Perl module on the system except DBI: You can't fool me. That might look a bit like DBI at first sight, but it's not the real DBI. That's some sort of heretic DBI who believes in the false Perl. We want our DBI back, and we're not talking to that splitter.
DBI: Bah! I'm not talking to those heretics over there; it's their Perl that's false, not mine.
Took a little while to sort that one out.
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To paraphrase/rip off
Date: 2004-12-03 05:39 am (UTC)